Fitness Awards for Excellence and Innovation
Disclaimer: This post originally was published on April 1st (aka April Fools Day). So before you think we went crazy, just remember we are having some fun. So sit back and enjoy the sarcasm.
We here at Fitness Spotlight like to highlight what we consider the best of the best, revolutionary and most effective products out there on the market today for all things health and fitness. Here are our top picks for 2010!
The Best Fitness Equipment
…and the award goes to…(opening envelope)…oh we knew it could be no other….the Shake Weight!
What person wouldn’t want to be seen in public with such defined arms shaking this NASA-like contraption.
In only 6 minutes a day, you can look just like all those super slim and fit models they hired for the infomercial.
With such big scientific words as “dynamic inertia”, you feel comforted that someone who appears to know what they are talking about designed it…but we really still don’t know what the heck it means.
We can’t do it justice enough, so you can see more about it on their commercial for women here…..and oh yes, they also have the shake weight for men here too. Sweet!
The Best Weight Loss Footwear
…and the award goes to…(opening envelope)…the shoe we all have at home…the Shape Ups!
We all are sick of walking everywhere…like to the bathroom or refrigerator, but what if we could also find a way to sculpt our abs and butt while doing it?
Well “rock and roll” is here to stay! Nothing works your abs and glutes like feeling off balance all day long. You can finally stumble in public like a drunk person or drop groceries walking from the car, all while knowing what a great set of six pack abs you will soon have!
The Best Food Diet Plan
…and the award goes to…(opening envelope)…and who doesn’t love…the Taco Bell Drive Thru Diet!
Who would have thought that you could finally go on a diet without ever leaving your car?
Now you can order something off the menu that will….Ummmmm….not sure what it does specifically but is at least 100 calories less than something else on there. Or it could be magical tacos…I’ve heard about those legends before.
No way will Burger King, McDonald’s or any other fast food restaurant be able to duplicate this nutritional break-thru without spending millions in research (which I am sure Taco Bell did).
The Best At Home Workout
…and the award goes to…(opening envelope)…standing on a plastic board…I mean the Wii Fit!
Aren’t you afraid of letting your kid outside for fear of all those kidnappers, shark attacks and killer bees? Well fear no more! Now keep your kids inside without feeling guilty or having them to experience the awkwardness of meeting new people.
Now your kids (and you too) can play games that look almost like it is real…except with lower quality graphics and sometimes contains people that have no arms or legs.
Try golf, bowling, tennis, yoga or many other activities without ever having to breath fresh air. Check out the video below to experience more of what the Wii fit has to offer…and like they say “nothing says fun to kids like graphs and charts”. I agree 142%!
The Best Quick Weight Loss Supplement
…and the award goes to…(opening envelope)…it comes from another continent and uses fake blogs to promote it….the Acai Berry!
Deep from the deepest jungles of….Ummm…somewhere, there lies the secret to long life and weight loss as proven by….well the ad says so, so it must be true.
It only seems natural that this berry is so magical, it has to be from a forbidden rain forest for it to work…like the gold at the end of the rainbow, or the fountain of youth.
With such great marketing strategies like fake weight loss blogs, fake news sites, fake testimonials, and other fake websites to promote their product, how could you not want to get some? In fact, if you look down in the comments below we may be lucky enough to have a drive-by spammer who praises this article for Acai berry and links to a great fake site! Oh how lucky we will be.
Now don’t forget to get that “free” trial bottle and enjoy the ongoing monthly payments of $79 that was in the fine print. A small price to pay for a magical berry I say!
The Best Fitness Magazine
…and the award goes to…(opening envelope)…it was a close one…Men’s Health!
Aren’t we all sick of hearing “eat more and move less”….oh wait, or is it “eat less and move more”? Well whatever it is, we are sick of it.
We love our 100s of fitness magazines with new and distracting articles each month to keep us hopping around trying new things all the time. I mean who wants something simple for consistent results? Borrrrrrring!
It was hard to pick which magazine would be the best, as they all have the same 25 pages of cologne ads, 40 pages of ads for clothes, another 30 pages of supplement ads...and in between all those ads at least 20 pages of print on something.
But Men’s Health takes the cake with their brilliant marketing covers. It works so well to sell more magazines, that they keep using the same exact words over and over again on their covers year after year. Brilliant I say!
Because most readers are still looking for six pack abs month after month, so it only makes sense to keep talking about it.
Our Last and Most Important Announcement
For those that made it this far without hitting the “delete” or “unsubscribe” button, we would like to say the following…
April Fools!
Yes, it is that time of the year again where it appears we have lost our minds…and had to pull a fast one on April 1st. If you are new and actually agree with all the awards above, well then you probably won’t like all the other articles we write around here.
So…if you want our real opinions on the things above, here are the quick points:
- If you want to shake something for a workout…grab a can of soda, shake it and hand it to a person you don’t like…and then run.
- If you want good posture, wear flat soled shoes/sandals.
- You can lose weight eating at any restaurant, if you eat less calories overall during the whole day that is.
- I think more people get hurt falling off the Wii fit board than get any benefit from it for weight loss.
- Acai berry is not as special as all the mass marketing plays it out to be.
- You don’t need fitness magazines to learn anything new.
- and most of all, if you buy any of these products you are giving these companies the go ahead to keep making new gimmicks. So “just say no”, help put a stop to all this silliness in the mainstream and lets get back to focusing on what really works.
Hope you enjoyed. If you have any of your own “awards” you want to add, feel free to list down below. You can also check out last year’s April Fools post on our ways to get ripped abs in just 2 weeks here.
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lol very good article
Good April Fools article, but I’m not sure the Shape Ups deserve as much crap as you’re giving them. Well, at least not for the reasons you list. My girlfriend sells MBT shoes (or anti-shoes as they call them), and she swears by them. MBT is the brand Skechers is knocking off. My girlfriend claims the Skechers version feels like you’re walking on cardboard. She messed up her back a few years ago slipping on ice, and she’s usually in pain whenever she wears a different style of shoes to work. I can also tell you her posture is much better when she’s wearing them. As for the science behind them, I haven’t really checked it out, but there’s a list of studies here. http://us.mbt.com/Home/Benefits/Studies.aspx
Mike OD Reply:
I give those shoes crap mainly for the infomercials promoting people with “ripped abs and shapely butts” from using them. Note the name is marketed like that too, as “shape ups”…not “better posture shoes”.
The link you sent me, there are “studies” titled like:
“Effects of Masai Barefoot Technology footwear on posture: An experimental designed study.”
and I just realized that the MBT stands for “Masai Barefoot Technology”. So….why not just walk barefoot or as close to it as possible as a solution? There are better options on the market for that (Vibram, Vivo, etc).
People are of course welcome to buy what they want…I just choose not to support anything that practices deceptive marketing targeted mainly at people who believe anything they see on TV (in this case, promoting weight loss and ripped abs, from a shoe….come on).
Great article Mike!
-Rafi
Hi there,
I’ve been reading your website for a couple of months and I’ve started to implement and study the tips you publish. I find they are working great!
September of 2009 I was 254 pounds, miserable and cranky all the time. I hated being so overweight and refused to go outside because of embarrassment to sweat or be seen in the gym. I got the Wii Fit game for my house and with the help of that stupid guilt trip trainer I got on it everyday. 10 minutes a day for the first month- and worked my way up. It was a game with challenges, goals, puzzles and scores to top each day. I could see everyday tangible results in the arbitrary scores, my brain didn’t think I was exercising it thought I was competing! I couldn’t come up with a reason not to exercise everyday. I didn’t have to put on workout clothes, leave the house, heck, I didn’t even put on SHOES sometimes. Just had to sweat for 30 minutes a day. After two months, I slowly started working on my diet, and venturing outside for walking- As of March 15th I’m down 52 pounds and I feel better. Don’t knock the Wii Fit too much. It does work for motivation. When I was too embarrassed to go outside, too embarrassed to buy big workout clothes, when I was too tired to exercise the Wii Fit was a good choice at the time. The hula hoop games alone helped me knock off almost 6 inches off my waist.
And if you don’t log in for weigh in, that stupid trainer GUILT TRIPS you. I synced all my friends on my Wii and they show up to exercise with you. And that stupid wii trainer? Tells MY FRIENDS if I haven’t logged on for a while!
Now that I’m wanting faster progress and motivated more to get healthy I don’t use it that much anymore. It’s it a great way to keep track of your weight. I have three friends who now own the Fit and are using it to start their weight loss journey.
Mike OD Reply:
It really is about 2 things….consistency and motivation. Keep up the great work! Who knows where your fitness lifestyle adventures will take you in the future such as hiking, biking or other outside activities. Whatever you do, enjoy every moment of it and it will keep you motivated and going for life!
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Absolutely best article EVER! dripping with sarcasm…my favourite. Thanks for being real and cutting through the crap.
Oh, will you do an entry on liquid “cleanse” diets? including “Isagenix cleanse” or “Herbalife” or maybe you’ve done one already and I’m too lazy to find it….
Mike OD Reply:
Yes I have a natural tendency for sarcasm…..who knew? I did something on the detox diets a while back here: http://www.fitnessspotlight.com/2008/03/26/why-fad-detox-dietssupplements-are-useless/
Make fun of the Wii Fit (and by extension, EA Sports, EA More Workouts, since they use the balance board, as well) all you want, but in the 2 months I’ve had it, I’ve lost a pretty noticeable amount of weight and gained a ton of muscle. It also helped condition me for running outdoors (and I’ve never been a fan of running). You get out of it what you put into it. So sit back and make fun, but a few months further down the road when I’m even smaller and stronger, I’ll be having the last laugh (along with many others who have benefited from the Wii).
Mike OD Reply:
I’m not routing against you of course, so it is great you are seeing results. Give yourself some credit too as I am sure you are eating better as well. In the end, being active is good….and I had to have some fun with the Wii fit…since their fitness test told me I was like 48!
Carrie Reply:
That just means you need to work harder.
I’m consistently told I’m between 21-23 (I am 33yo). And I’m sure you’re much more fit than I am!
I bought two shake weights and four bottles of Acai Burn before I scrolled to the bottom… Dang it!
Mike OD Reply:
You will get TOO ripped and shredded!
Actually, my wife LOVES her Shape-Ups!
Don’t sleep on Men’s Health Magazine. They have really good fashion advice.
[...] Fitness Spotlight 2010 Awards for Excellence and Innovation [...]
The Shake Weight has been the smartest addition to my workouts…giving me a total upper body burn in just minutes. I will say that the results depend upon your form, which I had to get used to -thanks to the instructional DVD that came along with the product…but once you get the hang of it – you’ll keep in on you at all times – TRUST me. I just bought one for my car! This dynamic inertia science is extremely interesting…I read the science behind it and was wildly impressed – the company is happy to share that information. All in all I highly recommend this product.