How to Be Happy….Right NOW!
Isn’t this what we all want deep down inside? Aren’t all our motives for doing things to reach some level of happiness?
However doesn’t it always seem that happiness is just right around the corner…..we are almost there but just need one more thing?
Unfortunately that illusion is what keeps us always one step away. But look around, there are people happy….so what is their secret? Here it is….are you ready….
Happiness is Right Now
That’s right, if you are not happy right now you have to stop and ask yourself why.
Chances are your happiness is really based on the false idea that you are missing something, that you need something.
That is just conditioning from the mind. Try saying this to yourself : “I need nothing else to be happy right now”. Keep saying that till you really believe it because once you understand that truth, anything is possible.
“The foolish man seeks happiness in the distance; the wise grows it under his feet” ~ James Openheim
“Happiness is never stopping to think if you are” ~ Palmer Sondreal
“If you want to be happy…be” ~ Leo Tolstoy
So again ask yourself, am I really happy right now? If the answer is “No” then write down what you “think” will make you truly happy. Is it to lose weight? Is it with a new job? Is it a new special someone in your life? What are any of those thing going to bring to the table that you can’t have right now with the right outlook?
You can always have goals, you can always look for inspiring work, you can always enjoy the company of others…but to assume your happiness is dependent on it is just setting yourself up for the big let down.
A Bigger TV, a New Car, a Trip To the Islands, a New…You Don’t “Need” Them to be Happy
Doesn’t mean you can’t do it or go buy it, just stop giving into the illusion that it will bring you “happiness”. It might give you a “thrill”, but those are always temporary…and then when the thrill goes and leaves you feeling like something else is missing. Then you need an even bigger TV, different car, another trip, etc.
The cycle of thrills is endless…and a one way ticket to never realizing daily happiness. Stop the cycle now, you don’t need anything at this present moment other than your own mind!
Smile…Even If You Have to Force It
Ever notice how someone else’s smile can brighten your day? Even if you are feeling down, imagine being around positive smiling people…and suddenly it’s like you caught their energy for yourself.
Here’s what I believe to be a universal truth, energies attract.
“Man is fond of counting his troubles, but he does not count his joys. If he counted them up as he ought to, he would see that every lot has enough happiness provided for it.” ~ Fyodor Dostoevsky
So if you want to be around negative unhappy people…just be negative and unhappy yourself. If you want positive happy people around you…then start smiling and saying “I am happy right now because I don’t need anything else to be that way”.
Pretty soon you will be surrounded by the same type of people….and the more people of like attitude and energy, the stronger it grows. Let’s face it, no one wants to be around someone who are negative, we all are attracted to positive happy people.
Laugh more too. Stop taking yourself or anyone else so seriously. I like to use the little meditation of “I’m an ass, you’re an ass.” (from Anthony De Mello) to help remind me of my place in the world. No one is perfect, we all make mistakes, that is just life. Laugh it off and see how unimportant most trivial stuff really is.
There is No Past…There is No Future
We spend so much time either wrapped up in what has happened to us or what will happen to us we forget that we only ever really have one thing, the present moment.
How many present moments have you wasted thinking back about something that happened to you in the past…or worrying about something that may or may not happen in the future (and that stress can be a downfall to your overall state of health too!).
Imagine what it would be like to just forget the past, not worry about the future and only do what we need to do in the present moment…pretty soon we can accomplish anything we want! This is the real secret to successful people who go on to do many great things!
As that is all results are, just a bunch of steps taken in the present that lead to an end result. No one ever wins at a sport all at once, they just focus on one action at a time and repeat.
Of course one should use the past and future wisely, such as learning (but not waste time regretting about) from past actions that may have not turned out the way we wanted them to and having goals of where we want to go. But isn’t that only useful if we use that reflection to determine what steps we need to take in each present moment along the way?
What good is history or goal setting if we don’t use it in some action in the present? None! Wasted energy! Stop over-thinking or talking and start putting into real action!
So..again, there is no past or future…just a series of present moments strung together to make up your life.
Learn Appreciation For What You Have Right Now
A great way to remind yourself that you don’t “need” anything else is to find ways to have an ongoing appreciation for what you do have right now. Whether that be your health, a job, a roof over your head, your family, freedom or anything else.
If you really looked around in the world there is always someone is worse off than you, but many can also still be the happiest person you ever meet! So it can’t be about what we have then can it?
Visualize right now losing everything you have. Go ahead…I can wait. Seriously, take a minute to imagine losing everything…your house to a storm, getting laid off, being sick (losing your health).
Now do you see a sudden renewed appreciation for what is already right in front of you?
“We tend to forget that happiness doesn’t come as a result of getting something we don’t have, but rather of recognizing and appreciating what we do have.” ~ Frederick Keonig
The dangers of getting bored with someone or something is just because we no longer view them/it as we first did long ago. Did the person/object really change or was it just how you viewed them or your expectations that did?
Appreciate what you have right now, and you will realize that you really don’t need much else. Most learn this lesson too late.
Embrace Fear and Act Anyways
What is fear really? Examine it every time it happens in your life. This is important because isn’t this one of the greatest roadblocks we all encounter?
Fear is always about something in the future (afraid of an outcome that hasn’t happened yet…and may never even happen) and could also be routed on still attaching with the past.
Because of that definition, fear does not live in the present moment….it can’t…it’s not possible!
We fear a future outcome, we fear what people will think of us, we fear getting hurt, we fear losing money, we fear negative things that have not yet happened….we fear events or outcomes that haven’t happened.
“He who fears something gives it power over him.” ~ Moorish Proverb
“Fear makes the wolf bigger than he is.” ~ German Proverb
So you see, how can you really fear anything if you only live in the present moment?
Fear will never go away, as it’s there to keep us alive too…to give us caution in what present moment steps we take, and that is good. Just don’t let it rule your life or prevent happiness. Don’t act out of fear of the future, act out of what is the right thing to do in the present. Even worse, don’t avoid action because of fear. Embrace it…and realize it doesn’t truly exist or have any power over you right now.
Detach From Everything…Everyone…Right Now
That’s right, detach from everything…you don’t own anything or anyone…and they don’t own you.
Your happiness is no longer dependent on whether you have something or someone in your life. You no longer care about what other people say or think about you.
“The essence of philosophy is that a man should so live that his happiness shall depend as little as possible on external things.” ~ Epictetus
“Happiness? That’s nothing more than health and a poor memory.” ~ Albert Schweitzer
Now you can fully appreciate the time spent with them in the present moment. Detach from caring what others think about you or want from you. Be yourself because of how you want to live your life, not by the expectations of others. Living to other’s expectations will only leave you lacking fulfillment (feeling empty) in your life, and will only drain you as people will always want more from you.
Live to the beat of your own music, smile, laugh…and let everyone else wonder why you are so happy all the time!
Practice…Practice…Practice
This is the most important step.
None of this is easy and it will take some practice and daily reminders. The only way is to really put any of this to action and get better at doing it, is with simple daily practice. No one ever just masters it all at once, as life is an ongoing journey full of continual change (which is the only constant), not some destination.
That is what meditation is really. Just taking time out to slow down, quiet the noise and use some little cues (like noticing your breathing) to bring you back into the present moment. To help re-center yourself before you get too far off track.
So if daily happiness is your goal, you have to practice it.
“Plenty of people miss their share of happiness, not because they never found it, but because they didn’t stop to enjoy it.” ~ William Feather
“Happiness is not a state to arrive at, but a manner of traveling.” ~ Margaret Lee Runbeck
You can make up your own “present moment alarm”, something to remind you to focus on what is happening right now in your mind. It could be just waking up and starting the day off with peace and quiet for 10+ min (too many of us start it off with just “noise” from the radio and TV). Maybe it is driving the car with no radio on (and getting rid of some of that traffic stress too). It could be making time for a 10min walk everyday outside in nature (especially barefoot in the grass).
Just find ways you can focus on being aware of the present moment. Pretty soon you will just be living in that continual moment more often, and that is where true happiness lives and fear/ worry/ anger/ jealousy/ greed/ doubt/ depression can not get in.
PS. Having a good book to go back to is a good way to help yourself when you feel off track. I like to start off my day sipping an espresso (preferably outside) and reading more inspiring/deep thinking books to help me get my priorities for the day. My 2 favorite books (although I know there are so many more good ones out there) for this kind of “mental” exercise is “Awareness” by Anthony De Mello and “The Power of Now” by Ehard Tolle. I re-read these over and over/wear them out as I try to live in the true daily journey of life. The book “Less” by Mark Lesser (ironic name for him) is also a great read focused more on getting more done (business/life) while doing less work.
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Pure gold!
I have so much to be thankful for, I need nothing else.
Peace,
jim
I actually watched “The Secret” and have also seen “What the Bleep do we know” as tools for the search to happiness after a few rough years as well as going to therapy for several problems and saying things to yourself is one thing you must really teach yourself expecially in today’s world where negativity is what sells. You have to do this everyday. People have already started to tell me they are noticing a difference and say they are glad to see me starting to be happy again after such a long time. Good post.
[...] The IF Life –  Be Happy Now [...]
Mike;
Great article and it’s giving me pause to rethink some of my priorities.
Plan to attend a Zazen session tomorrow in Pittsburgh, and I’ve been sitting daily.
May I inquire as to anyone particular book or resource that you’ve read that was the basis for your Blog Post.
Thanks in advance, and if you don’t mind, I will post a link to this article on my Blog.
Jay
Western Pa.
PS. I’m re reading Thinking Body, Dancing Mind: Taosports for Extraordinary Performance in Athletics, Business, and Life: and hoping I can get a better grasp of the concepts.
MikeOD, Well said. One thing I do, when I get out of bed in the morning, as I slip on my house shoes, as my left foot goes in my left shoe I say “thank” and as my right foot goes in my right shoe I say “you”. That way I can start my day off with a feeling of gratitude and send start by sending out positive engergy into the universe. Then I continue saying thank you thoughout the day as little things go my way.
I have read that Albert Einstein said thank you hunderds of time a day to the scientist who came before him that allowed him to use their knowledge.
Each evening before dinner everyone in my family must say one thing that they are greatful for before we start eating. My kids love it because you can be greatful for the simplest thing.
Here is a great quote:
“If there were in the world today any large number of people who desired their own happiness more than they desired the unhappiness of others, we could have paradise in a few years. ”
Bertrand Russell
MikeOD, Thank you for starting this blog. I have gotten a vast amount of information to help me live a healthier, happier life. Thank you.
MikeB
Kevin – Just remember it is a daily journey and you can be happy no matter what may or may not have happen in the past. It’s something we all need to practice. I don’t think we need to find things in the past as excuses, we just need to learn to accept whatever has happened and then decide that we can be happy right now. It’s really is just positive thinking…as what we think will directly affect what actions we take and what results we get. Eliminate the negative emotions of fear, doubt, regret or anything that is based in the past or present, and just try to focus on what to do right now. You may enjoy the book “The Power of Now” by E. Tolle. Keep up the great attitude!
Jay – I have read so many different books on zen, happiness, simplicity and the likes. They have all had an effect on my current mindset. Any of Wayne Dyer’s stuff I do enjoy. As mentioned above E.Tolle’s “The Power of Now” is high on my list…my other fav author is Anthony DeMello. He has a couple good books called “The Way to Love”(Title is misleading…not that sappy) and “Awareness”. DeMello writes like a big slap in the face….no soft tones, but once you get it….it makes alot of sense.
Mike B – That’s a great way to start the day. Glad you are getting something out of the blog as I am enjoying doing it and it even helps me along my journey in life as well. It all starts everyday with our mindset…unfortunately most people start with negative news, traffic and never get set right from the start. The only thing we ever need to do is just awareness of what is happening in the present moment…as that is all we ever really have.
Great post Mike.
Jacko is way off on this. Its not about trying to convince yourself that bad things are actually good, its about finding things in your life that you can be thankful for.
As an example, work may be stressful for you at the moment, but that’s just one tiny piece of your life. I’m willing to bet there’s tons of other stuff in your life that you could be thankful for if you thought it through – family, the fact you’ve got somewhere decent to live, heck – even that the sun’s out today.
Your happiness is dictated by what you focus on and taking some time out each day to remind yourself what’s good in your life makes all the difference. You also really start to notice how miserable and negative everyone else is…
Chris – you are correct…as a business success coach once wrote “You become what you think about”….also there is a poem (and no I don’t ready poetry) I read back in college…and all I remember was the title “Act or React”….do we just react to things around us (which are usually mainly negative)..or do we just act based on who we are and what we believe in….most people react….we need more to just act in positive ways. Kind of like responding to comments that are only negative outbursts….as there are lessons everyday in life…first instinct would be to “react” and go tell him where he can put his words…..the better part of me would rather “act” and stay positive…well as much as I can.
[...] that you can feel better by buying something else. That is a false assumption. Remember from the past post on happiness, we have everything we need right now. Show that by bringing nothing new into your life and [...]
I was asked to read this page and was looking forward to it and still am:)
|t pops up with an error, I only see the photo at the top and no text.
Is this a webmaster issue or my little deal.
Thanks, looks like a great site
Eric
Eric – don’t know why it’s not coming up for you, can see it here just fine. Hopefully it was a passing error and it’s cleared up for you by now. Enjoy!
Awesome awesome… yet another reminder that all we have in life is the moment we live at that moment, the only place where true choice lies… I have the “power of now” book, and audio book by Eckart Tolle as reminders. Highly Highly suggest these
Matty J – Very good book “Power of Now”. We all need as many reminders as we can get…otherwise we get swept up in all the things around us. It’s all in our heads, sometimes we just need to slow down and remember that…..as a bad day is sometimes just our own fault inside and we can turn it around and make it whatever we want to be.
I like this quote….
“There is neither good nor bad but that my MIND makes it so.”
Shakespeare
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[...] Smile all the time…why not? Be happy….as a choice! [...]
Great post! Very inspirational.
Makes me want to stop and re-think a few things in my life.
Living in the moment is DEFINITELY one of them!
Ramadan starts tomorrow. i think an article about what to eat and how to workout during Ramadan would be a very useful article.
you can really follow the line of IF during this month. only thing is we cant drink water during the fast either. also now that Ramadan has moved to the summer we will have very long fasts. So it much more important to eat the right things. but no one ever does.
I learned that you can obtaining happiness by simply doing good things (i.e. help others, volunteer, exercise more, eat better, etc.) and not by having things. It works…give it a try!
Wow, I found your site today just doing some searches and I’m glad I did.
I think that being present is the key to happiness. When you’re present you are in full control of how you react to things and have the option of looking at everything with a positive view.
In fact I think thats one of the reasons why people become addicted to drugs and alcohol is because those substances keep you in the moment and allow you to let go of the rest and make you feel happy, however we can do that by ourselves without the help of any other poisons.
Great post, I am forwarding it to a few people that need this. lol
I have read all the comments on being happy right now… it would be nice, I admit!
I’m not sure if it is possible. I don’t believe that I’ve ever been truly happy. I am 48 years old. I don’t own a house, I have two kids dependent on me. Everyday I get up, I feel like everything I do is routine. I do want something to look forward to!
The things I want for my kids especially would be to actually own our home as opposed to renting. That goal to me is unreachable at this point.
You say that “things” do not make you happy, they are only temporary thrills. I don’t agree with that. I think that the people who are commenting with nothing but positive feedback on this site, are already happy and probably have their lives already sorted out….ie: home, money etc
MikeOD Reply:
Hi Linda,
I do not own a home, nor am I rich. My car is a used one from 1996. I chose a more simple life and do not have the ability to do many other things such as travel and buy new stuff. That being said, it is still all perspective on how you see life. If you believe you need more stuff, you will not be that happy. If you compare yourself to others, you will also not be that happy. If you care what others think of your lifestyle and social status, your happiness is dependent on others now.
It’s your choice on whether to own or rent, but don’t think you need to own something to use it and be happy with it. Some of the happiest people I know have the least amount of things, mostly used too…but they learn to enjoy each day for what it is. In the big picture, that is all your life really is…and no one will care what homes or cars you had in 100+ years.
I highly suggest reading “Power of Now” by Tolle and “Awareness” by DeMello. Then make your happiness happen each day! You can do it…as really you are the only one stopping it from happening.